I want you to know that it kills me that you have to see your only grandchild grow up over the computer. I know you hate it, and I'm sorry. I am (and will continue) trying so hard to make sure that she knows both of you and that you both love her very much.I also feel like I hurt you with my choice to marry a soldier. I know you both like him a lot though and that is very important to me. I'm sorry for leaving so soon.
Please know that I am happy. I have a wonderful life here. Besides missing our families, I love it. This is everything I ever wanted out of a marriage and family. Please, don't worry about me. Jason takes care of me. He loves me so much. I know you both know that, especially after everything that happened after G was born.
I'm sorry for all of the holidays I have missed. It sucks, I know. Jason leaves every other year... I know how it feels to have the holidays incomplete. It's part of the military life that I don't love.
You may never truly understand why I chose this life for myself (and continue to choose it for my family.) I am trying to help you understand. I hope that you do, someday... And if you do now, thank you for understanding. The Army has given my family more than I could ever ask for at 21. I know you know that. I want to continue to give G the best life possible... And I know you know that, too.
I can't wait to see you both again, but I hate to leave. It breaks my heart. All of these feelings come out again. I feel guilty for making these choices. I feel like I was selfish... I wanted to write this to you so that you know that even though I am far away I love you. I didn't mean to make this as sappy as it was, so I'm sorry for that... I started tearing up with the title.
PS- I wrote this letter here so that I have the option of not sending you the link. :P
To Other Readers- I realize how personal this is, but as I said, I wanted the option of NOT sending the link, but I needed to get my thoughts out, too. Thankfully, that's what blogs are for :)
Also, I wanted to show people what military families often go through. This is not the best way to do that, unfortunately, but you kind of get the idea.