So these last few weeks have been filled with worry and stress over the (extremely) upcoming deployment. My husband leaves in a few days. That means we have both been on edge more, I have been crying more and we are both under stress. It is weird to "outsiders" to think that a military family argues more right before their soldier leaves... but it is true. Despite BOTH of our wishes, we have argued every day. *Sigh* Though I don't hate the Army, I do hate deployments. They suck.
I did receive some good news from an old friend a few days ago though- she is getting married! I was so excited to hear that. She is so low-key and laid back. I love that about her. She is getting married simply because she loves a man. I love that about her too. No competition, no annoying demands... Just a happy girl talking about her wedding. She knows I LOVE weddings and started talking to me about them. I am more than happy to help if I can... I might as well put my schooling to SOME use, right? She wants a vintage theme that I am in love with. Everything about it fits her perfectly.
I hope that when I get back to California we can plan a little more. I am so, so happy for her. Which is refreshing. Unlike everyone else, she is still the same girl I knew in High School. I don't feel like everything is a competition with her. She can truly be happy for someone and vise versa...
I have truly given up on trying to "keep up" with my some of my friends. Honestly, I don't give a shit anymore. They can't be happy for me, and apparently, I can't be happy for them. I try to not get caught up in the "I have the more perfect life" bullshit, but sometimes that is tough. Especially when it so easy... Since honestly, my life is "better."
I realize that sounds extremely arrogant, but hear me out... I don't live in the ghetto, so + one for me.... I have been married for 3 years and still going strong... And at the end of the month, I am okay financially. I never want to put my family through financial trouble to have what I want to make me seem "better." I don't even understand the point of "having it all" when it is obvious that person "has it all" at the expense of their family. In my opinion that person may as well have nothing.
So, I kinda went off on a tangent that I didn't mean to, but hopefully I will update soon. I may update more often after I am alone :( BOOOO! Deployments suck.