Boooo :(

I have been feeling extremely down lately. I hate to bitch to my friends, because I know they can only to listen to so much. I am still in California since Jason left. I am enjoying my time here, but I am also trying to keep from going crazy. I do like seeing them, but I guess I can only take them in smaller doses, because I am going crazy.

I haven't talked to my hubby in a couple days now. I knew this was a possibility... They are redoing the internet there, so he told me it would probably down while they are making the switch. It doesn't suck any less though. What sucks more? He called me today and I missed it. I cried the whole time I was listening to the voicemail. :(

I have been having major baby fever, but that is really nothing new. I keep telling myself how much easier/better it will be only having one child.... And yet here I am, sitting here sad.

I have always wanted a big family. I would adopt, but I don't think my husband is too excited about the idea. It would cost us thousands just to be able to do exactly what tons of people do every day... Let alone the cost of everything else we would need for the child. It hardly seems fair. I know I sound whiny, but I can't help it.

I am really, really tired of feeling this way. Will I ever be 100% okay with this? I hope so.